First off….you need to find the SNL commercial titled “Mom Jeans” and watch it. Watch it numerous times….and then you will come to appreciate the phenomenon that is “Mom Jeans”.
Saturday night my friend Brad and his fiancée, Lindsay, were hosting an Ugly Sweater party at their house. Ahhh ‘tis the season for hideous knits! And because Seattle loves Ugly Sweater Parties around the holidays there seems to be a shortage of really really hideous sweaters.
I found a very 80’s sweatshirt that said “I Believe in Santa”…it was red…it was retro, but by no means was it hideous. I can't very well show up at an ungly sweater party wearing a gently worn 80's sweatshirt! So I decided to up the ante a bit. I mean if you are going to do it….do it BIG I say! What if I wear my sweatshirt with some awesome pants?! HMMM? I have a pair a sweet Mom Jeans….Calvin Klein Mom Jeans if you want to be snooty about it. I found them at Goodwill around Halloween for $5. They look like they were sown just for me (Thanks Calvin!). The tapered leg stops right at my ankle (Which is a miracle considering how long my legs are. Uber-washed worn jeans are never long enough for me. At least I have never found a pair at a thrift store before!). The waist of these jeans buttons above my natural waist. Let me explain how high that is. The waist line buttoned about 5 inches below my bra. We are easily talking about an 8 inch zipper here, folks!! GROSS! I have never felt so trapped by a pair of pants before. Don’t believe the lies that those Chic Jeans commercials tell you…..I did not, in any way, shape, or form, feel like a “natural woman”. I felt hideous. Yet somehow I strangely felt attractive (The upside down heart butt will do that to you!). But that lasted for only a moment. I think it was the moment where I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and shuddered!
So after I did the shimmy shimmy dance to wriggle into these hideous jeans I accentuated the sweater/jeans combo with a pair of gloriously chintzy gold clip-on earrings, gold braided belt, and a gold purse with a gold chain as the handle. I was the epitome of class (if we are talking early 80’s class!). I made sure my hair was nice and big…just to complete the look.
Those stupid pants kept me from eating more at the party. It’s hard to eat…or sit…when your pants button up near your diaphragm.
Saturday night my friend Brad and his fiancée, Lindsay, were hosting an Ugly Sweater party at their house. Ahhh ‘tis the season for hideous knits! And because Seattle loves Ugly Sweater Parties around the holidays there seems to be a shortage of really really hideous sweaters.
I found a very 80’s sweatshirt that said “I Believe in Santa”…it was red…it was retro, but by no means was it hideous. I can't very well show up at an ungly sweater party wearing a gently worn 80's sweatshirt! So I decided to up the ante a bit. I mean if you are going to do it….do it BIG I say! What if I wear my sweatshirt with some awesome pants?! HMMM? I have a pair a sweet Mom Jeans….Calvin Klein Mom Jeans if you want to be snooty about it. I found them at Goodwill around Halloween for $5. They look like they were sown just for me (Thanks Calvin!). The tapered leg stops right at my ankle (Which is a miracle considering how long my legs are. Uber-washed worn jeans are never long enough for me. At least I have never found a pair at a thrift store before!). The waist of these jeans buttons above my natural waist. Let me explain how high that is. The waist line buttoned about 5 inches below my bra. We are easily talking about an 8 inch zipper here, folks!! GROSS! I have never felt so trapped by a pair of pants before. Don’t believe the lies that those Chic Jeans commercials tell you…..I did not, in any way, shape, or form, feel like a “natural woman”. I felt hideous. Yet somehow I strangely felt attractive (The upside down heart butt will do that to you!). But that lasted for only a moment. I think it was the moment where I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and shuddered!
So after I did the shimmy shimmy dance to wriggle into these hideous jeans I accentuated the sweater/jeans combo with a pair of gloriously chintzy gold clip-on earrings, gold braided belt, and a gold purse with a gold chain as the handle. I was the epitome of class (if we are talking early 80’s class!). I made sure my hair was nice and big…just to complete the look.
Those stupid pants kept me from eating more at the party. It’s hard to eat…or sit…when your pants button up near your diaphragm.
Revel in the glory of MOM JEANS!
P.S. So in January....a big group of friends and I are having a "White-Trash" themed party. This involves going to a Monster Truck Rally in Tacoma. I have a feeling that these jeans and maybe a stylishly cut Def Leppard t-shirt might be sported to said truck rally.
**NEW PICS ADDED**
